The Desire to Become a Woman For You

Pre-realization period:

Has been having these feelings since working with MC (2-3 years)
Doesn't fully understand them at first - manifests as envy of how women can interact with MC
Watches how freely Yaling, Weilan, and others can express admiration and devotion
- Both socially and sexually
- He's very jealous of this in a way that he at first didn't understand
- Just thinks of it as a platonic friend/servant jealousy initially
- Make snarky comments about sex that shows that he wanted to be the one
Is jealous of the love that you give them, the way that *they made you happy and how you reward them, and your just overall happiness
- Tries to have bro fun with you and tries to convince himself that it's enough
- jealous of the way that they look, their deep contentment, giddiness after sex with you.
Feels constrained by male social roles/expectations
- Contrast it with the way that the women can be so publicly and shameless attached and obsessed.
These feelings intensify after mind control but were present before
Turns down having sex with women when MC offers. While masking it with humor, his comments hint at his gender dysphoria.
All his scenes, comments, etc with other women as revealed through their routes and in general are colored by the envy he has towards them.

The Trigger:

Friends/Confidants:

Only really close to Jiaolong due to their shared mind-controlled status
They work together daily managing different aspects of MC's life
Might confide in her first since she'd understand the complexity of feelings toward MC
She's also safer to tell than anyone else due to mind control ensuring secrecy

The Realization Process:

Key notes:

The Desire to Become a Woman For You ​